Caregiver stress? I'm angry and projecting it unto others. What can I do?
August 28th, 2011
‘m crying as I’m writing this message. I’m a 40-year old single mom, so I’m no teenager. I’m angry at my siblings for not being here to help with my aging parents (I’m the primary caregiver), I’m angry because my daughter and I don’t get along very well (I just yelled at her because she talked back to me and I ended up slapping her on the arm), I’m angry because I feel as though no one really cares about what I’m going through. How can I deal with this? I feel so frustrated. Especially regarding the caregiving, I just think it’s not fair that my siblings are getting away with it. They come visit maybe once a year, then they’re gone. I talked about it numerous times about my difficulties and they always end up saying the same thing (it’s your choice if you stay where you are, you’re destined to take care of them, etc.). I try to put my resentment behind but it keeps coming back. Help!
I’m considered kind and soft-spoken, but deep inside, I’m boiling. I feel as though I can’t be as nice with people due to the way I’m feeling inside. This is really bothering me.
Posted in Caring for Alzheimer's | 
Tags: aging parents, caregiver, caregiving, resentment, siblings, single mom, teenager
You have a very hard life. I wish I could help. It’s not fair AT ALL that your siblings are not taking a share in the caregiving. My siblings would never act that way. It seems like they are taking advantage of your kindness. If you were my sister, I would be there whenever possible, and I’d be sending you away for weekend getaways while I stayed with our parents……sorry I can’t do more, but here is a link to an article I found – you may benefit from reading it over:
http://www.watchtower.org/e/19970208/article_01.htm
I am in the same position and it is very frustrating and I completely understand how you feel. I have 3 brothers who do absolutely nothing to help with my mom with Alzheimer’s. I have cut all ties with one of them, and close to cutting ties with another one.
I like the advice given by reedy–try to take solace in knowing that YOU are doing what’s right–and feel good about that. What your siblings do or fail to do is on their conscience.
Talking things over with a therapist may help you get through this.
There are ‘givers’ and ‘takers’ in this world.
You and I are ‘givers’ and the ‘takers’ take advantage of this.
hang in there.
See a therapist. You don’t need to be mentally ill to see one and they are great and helping you vent and relax.
Login to my facebook. V wil be frnds then u wil forget the lonliness
Well I work in a nursing home and I can honestly say that there’s a special place in your heart to care about your parents the way you do. Just remember that you will always be remembered even if your siblings don’t realize it. You are an amazing person to take on that responsibility. I know it’s not easy but just keep taking one day at a time. They will get theirs in the end. I know it’s hard. But just remember that you are doing what you want to be done to yourself when you get old. I don’t know the whole situation but i will give you all the props for being a good daughter and a good person in general. If you need anything just email me. I hope everything works out for you. But remember that you also need to have some time just for yourself as well…:)