Caring for Alzheimer's

Posts Tagged ‘brother’

Oh boy… I just got off the phone with my brother who’s older than me. I really touched a bad nerve of his. Here’s the story. My mom suffered a mini-stroke during the summer and she’s still living at home. I’m the main caregiver here in the city because my siblings all live outside the city. My brother is the only one who spends the summer here at the cottage so he’s able to look after my mom a couple days a week, while for me it’s every day. Anyway, my sister-in-law talked to my mom about her "options" (living at home, assisted living, nursing home) while my mom was in the hospital. I wasn’t there to discuss this. Tonight, I told my brother how upset I was about this and he was just fuming. He said that they’ve been married 30+ years and that my sister-in-law had the right to discuss the options because she wasn’t making a decision. I told him that my sister-in-law isn’t here to do the caregiving but he then answered that he is so that counts. He said that he refuses to tell her what I said and that I could call her myself to discuss this. He then said that if I do that, she won’t want to talk to anyone in the family anymore. He said that he doesn’t want to limit what she can or can’t say and that he’s tired of filtering everything. I just don’t know what to think. I’m stressed; I feel as though I’m falling apart.
I really hope someone has some insight; did I do the wrong thing by mentioning this to my brother?

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

dad is 97 and has severe alzheimers disease,my brother will go as far as abusing me emotionally and mentally to protect my dad no matter what.im crud to him.dad has thrown the handpiece of a phone a me ,punched me in the face and tried choking me,can i have my dad charged with domestic abuse and have my brother charged with emotonal and mental cruelty?
hey,you dont KNOW my father!! he can and will maime someone,hes blackend my eye from a well aimed fist to my face,hes a mentally challenged person with super stregnth.dont kid yourself.
wanna go 10 rounds with him??

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

would you do anything in your power to keep him safe from taking off?im rying to see how many of you would do this,you see my 97 yr old dad has this and takes off when the aide is not here.its only me and my twisted father.right now hes god knows where and my younger brother isnt worried,infact he doesnt care.but hes sent his daughter to look for my dad.lazy piece of ****!
i have no health care training or knowledge of alzheimers disease ,im a frakin greenie with this.im afraid hes gonna get killed or lost.
hes sweeping him under the rug so to speak.
i neglected to tell you that my dumb***** brother refuses to put my dad in a home,he says dad lives here,and he will die here,a sick lame excuse eh??

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

Here is the situation, so bare with me, its kind of a long story. My Mother, who I temporarily reside with with along with her 87 year old boyfriend, is 65 . They are not married. He pays for food , but no rent and occasionally fixes her car and drives her everywhere. I moved in to stay with her temporarily this past year after the sudden death of my Sister,in the cabin adjoining their house. Lately, I have noticed a very extreme decline in her mental abilities,she is forgetful and such. Here also is the problem: I am moving back to my home state in August and I feel very bad about leaving her in this state. After all, what if something should happen to her very old boyfriend? I cant get her to take a test too determine if anything is wrong with her. She is also very head-strong and stubborn and somewhat simple-minded. We aren’t very close, so I cant convince her to take any test. However,she is my Mother and of course I care about her well-being. I have 3 brothers and a Sister and they all(except one) don’t care and/or are indifferent to the problem. My sister is estranged from her,the other brothers are indifferent. One brother has taken notice, but like me feels helpless also and does not know what to do. They all live in a different State. I want to and need to resume my old life,yet I feel like something will happen to her when I am not here. Her boyfriend treats her okay, but like I said they aren’t married and he hasn’t always pulled his weight(like I said he doesn’t pay rent here. and I don’t know if its just a relationship of conveyance for him and if he will con her when I leave. She has no mortgage and has some money( I think) left from her previous husband who passed away. I just feel like I don’t trust him and I know that he knows of her mental decline and he has agreed with me that she acts a little crazy at times. I want her to move back home with me,although it would be tough on me at first until a situation can be in place,however she is bent on staying here with her boyfriend. Am I wrong in wanting him to go away and wanting her to move back near her children under the circumstances? He makes her happy(I guess) How would you handle this problem, if she were your parent?Any comments ,or suggestions? Also,she is blind in one eye and sort of emotionally unstable after my Sister’s death
To add she never cleans, I do all the cleaning etc in exchange for free rent I also work full time
Actually, I started noticing the mental deterioration about 5 years ago

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

Oh boy… I just got off the phone with my brother who’s older than me. I really touched a bad nerve of his. Here’s the story. My mom suffered a mini-stroke during the summer and she’s still living at home. I’m the main caregiver here in the city because my siblings all live outside the city. My brother is the only one who spends the summer here at the cottage so he’s able to look after my mom a couple days a week, while for me it’s every day. Anyway, my sister-in-law talked to my mom about her "options" (living at home, assisted living, nursing home) while my mom was in the hospital. I wasn’t there to discuss this. Tonight, I told my brother how upset I was about this and he was just fuming. He said that they’ve been married 30+ years and that my sister-in-law had the right to discuss the options because she wasn’t making a decision. I told him that my sister-in-law isn’t here to do the caregiving but he then answered that he is so that counts. He said that he refuses to tell her what I said and that I could call her myself to discuss this. He then said that if I do that, she won’t want to talk to anyone in the family anymore. He said that he doesn’t want to limit what she can or can’t say and that he’s tired of filtering everything. I just don’t know what to think. I’m stressed; I feel as though I’m falling apart.

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

( 97) and has severe alzheimers disease,i am being forced to care for dad when the regular aide isnt around.when she leaves my dad will open the door and take off,i get very angry and call hm in but dad tunes me out and keeps on moving.i tell my brother and he expects me to follow him,he says so what,let him do as he pleases.this is a bd practice because my dad doesnt know where he lives and he doesnt know his phone number or address.to keep dad safe my brother should invest in a medic alert tag,but no,my brother wont have that.he will do things his way as long as he isnt involved with my dads safety.i cannot keep up with my dads growing mental problems which include wandering and lashing back at anyone who gets in his way.hes attacked me on several occasions.the aide says we need a lock change to keep my dad from opening the door and geting out.brother says ok but never does anything.what will happen will be a disaster if we dont curtail my dads insanity.what can be done to get my brother to move on this?
im living alone with my dad,my brother is married and lives 10 minutes from my house.im almost 70 yrs old and my brother is almost 66 yrs old.with him its do as i say,i have no say in anything.i cant talk to him he overrides me.as i stated my dad has thrown the handpies of a phone at me,punched me in my face,tried to choke me.i have now alienated him from me.

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

My father lost his job (he says the economy I say its because he refused to go out on days the asked him to (ie holidays days he was being lazy) and he also got in physical fights with a few of the guys there. Well currenly my grandmother is in a hospice dying from Alzheimers Disease. She’s terminal, and only has a few weeks to live. Two years ago I was supposed to get her wedding rings, a few other rings, and a watch. The watch and two fo the rings in question were supposedly with a my grams sister and neice. They gave the rings to me, and my grams sister said my father has the watch, AND the other rings. I believe her sister, as she knows how close my gram and I were. With the rings dated from 2007, my gram wrote me a note that said she wants me to have her rings and watch.

I talked to my father. He said the watch was appraised at ,000 (platinum diamonds ect) in its broken state. His friend collects and buys watches.Has offered to buy this watch before. I have a letter that states I’m to get the watch. I currently have the letter and the few rings my gram had in her posession after my father found them cleaning out her apartment.

I’m not sure what my options are. I know everyone has said legally he can’t do anything with the watch or rings. When I ask him for them, he says "Oh you aren’t old enough to have it", or "Well I’ll give it to you when you’re more responsible" I’m pushing 21 years old for godsakes. this is getting old. I can’t afford an attourney and don’t want too much bad blood at her funeral. But he’s desperate and that watch belongs to me now. Any suggestions?

(And yes I care more about my gram than this watch,but it was the one thing I wanted when she passed on and she knew that for years. He’s talked about selling it and splitting the money with he and my 1/2 brother my gram hated. I have no idea what to do at this point)

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

to win them over…?

a) the problem with dad is: he smoked for 30 years, he drinks scotch 5 days a week.
He has mutliple schlerosis and ready to spit in our face.
He will yell at me and mom like he’s going to ring our neck

b) the problem with mom is she keeps telling everyone I’m making it up.
I must be some poor little autistic boy who’s just crying for attention.

She is so angry between dealing with dad and her grandma
with alzheimer’s, she threw a keyboard at me when I was 10. She threw knives and plates at dad.
She ripped out the TV and computer and threw them out the second-story window…(seriously)
_____________

Help, i’m obviously traumatized. Should I call my aunt in Mexico and teller the whole thing.

I feel like I’m living in a fallout shelter.

My brother who is 19, and lives with us- you
know he hits his girlfriend and pushed her a moving vehicle.

Who should I talk to…? (I’m 15)

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

to win them over…?

a) the problem with dad is: he smoked for 30 years, he drinks scotch 5 days a week.
He has mutliple schlerosis and ready to spit in our face.
He will yell at me and mom like he’s going to ring our neck

b) the problem with mom is she keeps telling everyone I’m making it up.
I must be some poor little autistic boy who’s just crying for attention.

She is so angry between dealing with dad and her grandma with alzheimer’s,
she threw a keyboard at me when I was 10. She threw knives and plates at dad.
She ripped out the TV and computer and threw them out the second-story window…(seriously)
_____________

Help, i’m obviously traumatized. Should I call my aunt in Mexico and teller the whole thing.

I feel like I’m living in a fallout shelter.

My brother who is 19, and lives with us- you
know he hits his girlfriend and pushed her a moving vehicle.

Who should I talk to…? (I’m 15)

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online

who suffers from severe alzheimers disease,will have a tough time dealing with her passing when it comes.ill feel it too,but my dad will go nuts and hes liable to do some thing bizzare.my brother has babied him since his alzheimer started getting worse due to a brain injury two and a half years go,hes letting him do as he pleases,and thats no good,if he wants to go out i cant hold him back,my dad has no memory whatsoever,and gets confused at the drop of a hat.should he go out he heads anywhere and keeps on moving not aware of where hes at.my brother wont put dad in a home where theres constant supervision,hes saying this is dads house,he lives here and he will die here,im thinking when mom goes hes liable to go looking for her.do i have a good point here to put dad somewhere that hes cared for properly and family doesnt have worry about him 24/7?

Other Alzheimer’s Sites Online