Caring for Alzheimer's

Posts Tagged ‘caregiver’

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For the last 4 years, my girlfriend has been a caregiver for her elderly aunt. When my 81-old mother became unable to care for herself, I moved her from AZ to CA and the 4 of us rented a house together.
Since I am a terrible caregiver, I paid my girlfriend 0/week to take care of my mother. Then, I bought this house and could no longer afford 0/wk. Instead, we agreed that she would continue to provide long term care for my mother in exchange for "equity" in this house.
We wrote and siged a detailed contract that spelled out everything and ensured a mutually beneficial outcome for both of us.
Then, after 8 months (and without explanation) my partner just quit. I can’t complain, or she withholds part of her rent. Now, I am stuck with everything (caregiving, cleaning, yardwork, etc,).
She laughs at our contract and claims it is worthless since it isn’t notorized. I took it very seriously but don’t know to do. Any legal recourse?

Here’s the situation: my wife is disabled. I dont know how to cook. My daughter and I don’t have time to cook, either, with all of the chores, job/work/college, and caregiving. My wife used to cook, but with her disability, she can’t. I’ve recently become concerned about my family/s nutritional needs. We havent had a home-cooked meal in about 10 years. We eat tv dinners, fast food, prepackaged and processed food regularly. We do eat out, but that food isn’t exactly nutritious either. (applebee’s fattening stuff) Could someone recommend a menu, a website, quick meals that are nutritious,a multi-v –anything!! Should I buy as many fruits and veggies as possible and eat those raw (and just get meat and chicken through take-out, etc) I need some help, please. thanks. And please don’t make fun. It’s incredibly difficult to worry about nutrition when you’re a caregiver and managing a household, especially since meds cost so much and fresh food is so expensive.

A 91-year old lady was in tears and noteably being mistreated by her ‘caregiver’; My sis and I asked the elderly lady if she needed help with this, and she puckered up, tears starting to roll, as she said "Yes, I would…it’s SOOOO hard". The receptionist at the hospital where were were was also a witness to this as, was several patients. My sis—who is VERY outspoken—got in the caregiver’s FACE and said, "How would YOU like to be in the clutches of someone like YOU?"…to which she told my sister to butt out. My sister said, "Oh No! I will NOT butt out! You’ve got a stickey wickette on you now lady! You will not abuse anyone again—not on my watch!
…& we found out the name of her boss and the phone #, to which my sis called her boss right there. I got called into see my sergeon, but the drama continued (My sis said that after I left, she talked to the boss of the ‘caregiver’ and the boss started to protect the C.G (ofcourse) and the C.G. came over to my sis and yelled to her boss (over the phone)…."she called me a B****!"…and my sis said to the boss…"I sure did, but I wouldn’t have called her that if she hadn’t been one,,,but she WAS a B*****!" and I have witnesses…. You can’t call my supervisor, bcz I don’t HAVE ONE….I am not an employee here…and most of the witnesses aren’t either! We are BY-STANDERS WHO REFUSE TO STANDBY & watch this abuse!" …& THIS PHONE CALL IS NOT The last you’ll hear of it either."
Then, the old lady wanted to call her brother…(WHO I guess pays the caregivers just over FIVE FIGURES per year to take care of his sister..but who, the lady says has told her (he) wishes she would DIE!" So, my Sis dials his # for the 91-yr old lady, and she talks & cries to her brother. (The delimma is now my Sis knows she’s got the brother’s # in her phone (from the call), and wonders if he would help the old lady …. or would this cause her problems (if he really has said he wishes she would die)? I think she should tread very lightly since the relationship of the brother & sister could be very VOLITILE…and she should contact the head/director of the caregiving company. She has alread gotten the hospital on it— (& those people don’t take this stuff lightly at ALL!)…could be she’s done enough.
I think now, we should just offer the lady up to God and let go. She has no way of getting hold of the lady anyway —- excepting thru her brother (great!) The hospital is not going to forget about it anyway…& they’ll find a way to get hold of her.
It’s just so sad, that people who once were vital people, end up so alone and so "brow-beaten". She was once a model in Chicago for Clairol….. OMG! and here she is scared, tiny, humped-over, using a walker instead of the wheelchair she should have been in, just because the caregiver said taxi-drivers don’t pick-up ppl in wheelchairs as quick as they do ppl with walkers. So, this one-time model with RAVEN Black hair (she told us), is at everyone’s mercy and "living" only because of God’s ‘good’ graces. What "Grace" is this?
Should my sis call the brother? …and if you think so, what should she say to him? OR>>>should she leave it where it is? and offer it up?

I became my mothers primary caregiver in December 2008 until she passed in October 2010. Explaining this extended employment gap, would be most helpful in securing a position in this tough job market that I now face.

‘m crying as I’m writing this message. I’m a 40-year old single mom, so I’m no teenager. I’m angry at my siblings for not being here to help with my aging parents (I’m the primary caregiver), I’m angry because my daughter and I don’t get along very well (I just yelled at her because she talked back to me and I ended up slapping her on the arm), I’m angry because I feel as though no one really cares about what I’m going through. How can I deal with this? I feel so frustrated. Especially regarding the caregiving, I just think it’s not fair that my siblings are getting away with it. They come visit maybe once a year, then they’re gone. I talked about it numerous times about my difficulties and they always end up saying the same thing (it’s your choice if you stay where you are, you’re destined to take care of them, etc.). I try to put my resentment behind but it keeps coming back. Help!

I’m considered kind and soft-spoken, but deep inside, I’m boiling. I feel as though I can’t be as nice with people due to the way I’m feeling inside. This is really bothering me.

My Grandfather just died. I asked my relatives down there if I could see him at the morgue or funeral home, and 1 of them replies: "I don’t think that will be possible, honey". "He’s already been taken to the funeral home". Why would they say that?? They know there is at least 24 hours if not 3 days before he is creamated. Why would that family member say that to me?

I know this family member very well, and we understand each other for the most part. The caregiver (Another family member, being the eldest in the family), wanted him gone anyways, just nothing, doesn’t mean anything to them. Messed around with him psychologically while caregiving, snooty nosed. You know? My 1 family member is the type that just ‘cant handle taking care of everyone’. The one who told me that they didn’t think I could see Grand Dad. Like.. "You aren’t going to see him".

Please give me your thoughts.
I am 23 years of age.

My sister has been verbally abusive to me all my life. It got worse 6 years ago when my dad had a stroke and I became POA. I’ve taken care of all of my dads bills and caregiving. Unfortunately his 1st caregiver who he adored took advantage of him. She coarsed him into doing a reverse mortgage on his home. She took a lot of money. I had her arrested as I had a lot of proof. My sister blames me for this unfortunate circumstance. She accuses me of stealing my dads money. She tells me I am going to prision. She has left me 40 verbally abusive messages in the past two weeks. I wont listen to them, I delete them. The caregiver my dad has now is wonderful. She has been with him for 3 years. My sister lives 300 miles away and never visits my dad. She recently called APS on my dads caregiver because she says she is worried about his care. She doesn’t listen to one word I say. She came to visit my dad back in June and took him to a bank so she could take money. He was mentally incompetent to make financial decisions at that time and I have a letter from his doctor. I’ve changed my phone numbers in the past. How can I get her to leave me alone.

This DVD is now available at Amazon.com. Visit www.amazon.com This video is an excerpt of “The Art of Caregiving”", a 2 hour training DVD for caregivers. Teepa Snow, a nationally acclaimed Alzheimer’s and dementia care specialist, teaches her students how a person with dementia perceives his/her world and how to properly adapt one’s own behavior to increase communication and mutual understanding. Learn Teepa Snow’s effective hands-on techniques to ease your daily caregiving tasks and increase the quality of life for your loved one or patient. In this training DVD, Teepa demonstrates effective approaches to bathing, eating, dressing, transfers, and how to respond to certain types of behaviors in patients with dementia. “The Art of Caregiving” is presented by The Pines Education Institute of SW Florida and facilitated by Teepa Snow, MS, OTR/L, FAOTA. For more information please visit www.pinesofsarasota.com © 2011, Pines Education Institute of SW Florida and Teepa Snow

I asked at ss about custodial caregiver and I did not get any response.My husband is totaly dependent on my care, he has heart problems, problems walking,and on dialysis three times a week. I need some help with gas and up-keep of my vechicle.We both draw a check(SS) but does not go far.No money left over for a trip around the block. Iam 63 years old and hes 64. I lost my job after 36 years to overseas stuff and was not prepared for all that happened to him and I’m totaly stressed out. I have NEVER ask for help before and I hate to now,but for his care I will.We have an OLD house thts soooo cold ,gas bills that are out of sight , he sits infront of an electric heated to stay warm.We work hard to keep bills at a mim.Our church bought the last tank of gas. I am able to work ,but cannot leave him! Any response welcome