Caring for Alzheimer's

Posts Tagged ‘grandparents’

I dont even know where to start really…it’ll be easiest to explain the financial problems first. I live with my mom whos a single parent who dropped out in 10 grade because she had to take care of her mother who was gaining alzheimers. So she has no education whatsoever, she got married had me and my "dad"commited suicide when i was a baby so there goes more money lost. I’m 16 now and we’ve been living off social security my entire life we’ve NEVER lived anywere nice it’s always been in the projects or a trailer, then she get’s re-married to some closet faggot when i was 6. He could never hold down a job so we ended up living with my grandparents….He ended up pulling me out of school in the 4th grade and he moved us out of state where we lived in a tent for 6 months………..Ended up taking what little money we had and leaving my mom and going back to his ex wife.

I got in some legal trouble back home so we left the state when my mom finally had a good paying job there 9.50$ an hour cleaning condo’s….She keeps holding that over my head and won’t just forget it. So we move here and i decide i want to go back to school and try to graduate my last 2 years (im 16 now) but oh of course not because by the time school starts we’ll be moving to some other place because she’s not making an effort to get a job whatsoever….. She’s "trying" to go back to school now to which also screws me over because if she’s going to school i won’t be able too…She says when i move out when im 18 she’s gonna be homeless living under a bridge cause that’s when she loses social security…I just don’t know what to do ive been so close to commiting suicide i just can’t go through with it because if i do she’ll kill herself too. I just wanna get away from all this you know? I want to just run away and get away from all this but if i leave i think she’ll kill herself. I can’t get councelling or anything i just need to know what to do, should i run away it seems like everyone elses life comes before mine please help

Ok so I am an 18 year old guy and I am depressed recently on and off for days at a time. Here is my story: In elementary school I didn’t have but a couple friends and I was always the kid to get blamed and in trouble for something others did and no one believed me. So bad to the point that my parents had a conference with the principal and I had anger management class for a year instead of recess. I never did anything but was always blamed and no one believed me. Then, in middle school things were ok and I liked a girl and asked her out and then she left me for my best friend (not the biggest deal really) then in high school, my father left my mom and I and I still haven’t seen or talked to him (and my dog) for over 2 years. We moved into my grandparents house then into a one bedroom apartment (all we could afford and no internet or cable). Then my great grandmother (whom I spent tons of time with and was my closest friend) passed away after having Alzheimer’s and basically forgetting who I was and all the fun things we had done together. Shortly after, my grandma (also close to and saw daily) died unexpectedly and then 3 family friends that I had also been close to even though they were older (old neighbors who I would see and say hi to daily) one of which was a really sweet old lady whom I used to help with yardwork and was really kind. Then finally I got a girlfriend whom I really loved and spent 6 months together until telling me she fell for her ex again and was flirting with him behind my back in texts for several weeks. I am 18 and don’t have a car or license because I can’t get a job to pay for a car and insurance and gas. I hate just about everything in my life and feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I have severe depression on and off and it can last for days and I wont talk and wont eat or even want to get out of bed. Please help idk what to do…

So here is the scoop, my fiance and I live with his grandparents to help take care of them. He grandmother has Alzheimers.His mother moved back from New Hampshire a couple years ago to help out. (We’re in CA).

When she moved out here, she decided to see the same psychiatrist that my fiance sees. He has ADD and takes Adderall for it. The Dr. put her on the same meds. At first things were OK, put then it seems that her mental state has really been debatable. It has really gotten a lot worse in the past couple weeks. Let me run down some things she has done in the couple weeks,

1. She has started either talking or humming to herself constantly.
2. She has been accusing her son of stealing her car keys to take gas from her car and hiding her kitchen tools.
3. Accusing me of clogging up the toilets and that anything I leave in the house (like a bag) collects dust to worsen the grandpa’s COPD.
4. She sometimes doesn’t sleep at all (maybe a few hours)
5. She sometimes sleeps all day
6. She recently kicked out her husband (end of last year), then now called him over, called him a piece of s**t and asked for him to move back in, after saying she wants a divorce and never wants to see him again (all in the same breath)
7. She thinks some rooms in the house smell like rotten meat.
8. She is blaming me right now for everything wrong in the house.
9. When she is talking her to herself, it varies from talking to another person, from highs to lows, to the dog (we actually have a dog, so not that bad), to just mumbling to herself.

I do believe it has a lot to do with the Adderall she is taking, and I do believe she is taking more than the recommended dose because she always runs out before her next prescription is written. But the scary part is that she has been out of pills for a few days now and her symptoms have not gone away.

Before a few weeks ago, she was still passable for sane, even though she was accusing her husband of taking money out of her bank account to make it over drawn. (he doesn’t even have access to that account, it’s hers)

My fiance believes that the smell part is a big deal. She has been on about smells for a while.
1. She couldn’t sleep next to her husband because he smelled too much.
2. She smells an intense cigarette smoke in my fiance’s car.
3. She smells rotten meat in the living room.
4. She has been putting a bad smelling incense around the house to "clean" the house
5. She used to sleep with the dog every night and now doesn’t because it smells too bad.

And I’m sure it related but she has been cleaning far more than usual. She spent 5 hours cleaning a room that was perfectly clean. She also has been making it look like no one lives here. For examples, the bathroom used to have air cleaners, a plant, shampoos, soap, etc and now it looks like a hotel bathroom with nothing in it.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that she has been exhibiting some really unreasonable behavior and doesn’t see how anything is wrong except for everyone else. I can go on forever listing things, but really we just don’t know what to do. We have tried talking to her Dr. and letting him know everything that has been going on. His response was "I’ll do some looking around." What does that even mean? We are at out wits end. Please, anyone with some advice out there as to what could be wrong or what we can do to fix it?

Mine is: i am a senior, doing my graduation exams, so i have to study. i live with my mom, dad, sister and grandparents, but dad is in the hospital with septis, a shattered vertebrae and maybe a tumor, and mom is there with him and when she isnt she is a wreck.

That leaves me and my sis to take care of my grandparents.

My grandmas alzheimers has gotten worse lately, and she is losing control of bowel movements. my grandpa threw his hip out last week so he practically breaks into tears if he sits the wrong way or rolls over.and has shingles (some type of nerve infection).

And my sister is so stressed out she has started skipping school, and hasnt gone in a week.

Am I looking for sympathy? you bet your ass. why does your life suck?

im only 27 years old, do NOT have the means to support my mom if my dad were to actually have one of these. what exactly would happen to him? to my mom? my mom can’t work, who would take care of my dad? where would he go if we couldnt afford anyplace? how does my mom take care of him when shes taking care of 4 elderly grandparents? it just seems impossible.

I am talking about the CONCEPT of Human Memory (not just alzheimers or disease). I like Norman Rockwells America, Thomas Kinkades (the painter?) America, and music and culture of the 60s, 50s, 40s, 30s, etc. Why is it America cannot hold on to it’s stronger aspects and those better aspects of are now only seen through the lens our grandparents gave us. Our great great grandparents could not see into the future as we can see into their past. NO! i would not want polio or bad healthcare or the other suffering. REMEMBER the movie BLADE RUNNER-it dealt with the concept of memory (versus machine). Are half of americans, or the 1/2 the human race, machines? Will World War Three erupt as a result of memory versus non-memory?

OK, here’s the story.
I live with my mum, sister & 2 grandparents. My dad lives across the other side of australia. We are not particularly wealthy (we live in our grandparents’ house). My grandfather has alzheimer’s and Parkinsons, and my grandmother has her 8th bout of cancer and limited time to live. My sister and I share a room but i have my own little section. I’m 15 by the way. I go to a private school and i love it there because i don’t have to see my sister, but one problem is that its 1 hour away and i am a competitive swimmer, swimming 16 hours a week and in year 10 with shitloads of work to do and no time to do any of it.
My sister and I are extremely different in many ways. We clash horribly. Sharing a room doesn’t help one bit, but there are no other rooms in the house. I can’t study with music on, and she can’t study without music on. She has it on her stereo FULL BLAST and when i ask her to at least turn it down she goes INSANE at me! That is only one of the many, many problems that we have.
Another is my grandparents. I know they’re old and slow but i am a very impatient person and i can’t help that! It’s in my half-german genes. They drive me CRAZY. My grandpa gets very confused and trashed my half of the room the other day looking for the toaster. I can’t stand things being untidy. That is again only one of the many problems i have with them.
My mum doesn’t understand me one bit. Correction, she does but she chooses not to care or help me. When i seek support from her she tells me to pull myself together and deal with what i’ve got. Which is true i guess, but i’m a teenager. I need privacy, space, and this is what i’m not getting! I’m going INSANE.
One more thing. I know this is self-inflicted stress, but if i acheive this, this will be at least one thing in my life i’m happy with. I’m trying to lose weight to make up for being so ugly. NOt anorexic, just a bit skinnier. I know i’m not fat. But i feel fat! So i want to get rid of this bloated feeling. It sucks being the ugly one in my group of friends, so i have to make up for that by being the skinniest.
I think i am either a little bit depressed or just get really stressed easily. I hate my house, it’s so old and yucky. The carpet in my room makes me want to vomit. So does my reflection. One factor that does not help my mental state is that i get literally no time to myself, it takes 2 hours to get to/from school, then 2 hours of swimming, i’m supposed to be doing 3 hours of homeowrk and study every night too. And of course, i’m exhausted by the time i get home from school every day.
I cry almost every day. It’s terrible. I hate it. As in the question, i honestly thing i’m going CRAZY. Please help me!
And thanks for reading this. It probably sounds so childish, i know. But please put yourself in my shoes. I can’t cope with life the way it’s going for me.

Both my grandparents are in care homes. My granddad was diagnosed with Parkinsonisms (a disease which mimicks Parkinson’s Disease) and Vascular Dementia. My gran was having to care for him and we later found out she has Alzheimers. My gran is in a Care Home and my grandad is in a Nursing Home. My mum has had to do a lot for them over the past few years, and it has been hard on her. The slow deterioration of these diseases makes it harder to deal with I think. My mum has 2 siblings who scoot the responsibilty over to my mum.

I have noticed over the past few months that my mum is more stressed than even before. She is in an almost permanent bad mood, constantly moaning, shouting. She’s also prone to emotional outbursts lately. My dad agrees with this and when we’ve tried to tell her to maybe get some medication to help, she says she doesn’t need it, and that she’s like this because of what she’s going through.

I don’t know what we can do to help her. It would also help me and my dad because it is hard dealing with my mum at the moment! I’m really not sure what action we should take with this, and I understand how hard this is on her because I’ve been living with it aswell for the last few years, I just think there must be something that can help her.

I’d really appreciate it if someone could suggest anything that they know might help?

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I’m 16, 17 on 9/1 and am living with my grandparents since birth almost. It was a closed adoption but i have met both my real mother and father and have proof that i met my real mother. I can’t stand living with my grandparents because my grandmother is vindictive and controlling and my grandfather is going through mental problems due to Alzheimer’s and i can’t stand it anymore. Do i have a right to choose to live with my real mother?

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Since apparently people are HIGHLY picky about how things are asked, I’ll try this again…

Please note, I AM seeking advice from a real estate or inheritance/estate attorney regarding this after I’ve received the paperwork in question. I’m FULLY aware Yahoo questions is an informal forum and I’m not expecting flat out by the book legal answers, just generalized knowledge of someone who knows more than me!

My grandfather owns a house he no longer lives in due to bad health.

He and my grandmother moved out of the home about 5 years ago and in with my parents.

Around that time, my mother got power of attorney on my grandfather.

An acquaintance of the family began visiting them, and gave them and my parents her sob story about her living conditions at the time.

After discussing the issue with the entire family involved in the possible inheritance of the property, it was agreed to offer her use of the home for the rest of her life in exchange for her help in sitting with and general caregiving of my grandparents until they both passed.

Paperwork was drawn up with his lawyer, signed by the lawyer, witness, my grandfather and the woman. DESPITE requests by my mother and myself my grandfather declined to put the caregiving stipulation in the contract. This paperwork basically states that she may live in the home rent/mortgage free until her death. Despite my mother having power of attorney she was never brought in to sign off on the paperwork, or asked to. This in itself seems fishy to me, I was under the impression that someone with power of attorney would be REQUIRED to sign off on any legal paperwork pursued by a person….my mother states she wasn’t aware whether or not she needed to be involved in this aspect.

She only lived up to her end of the bargin for about 6 months, after that point refusing to help with my grandfather, my grandmother having already passed by this point.

She states there never was a verbal contract about her being a caregiver, the family though knows otherwise, she even stated on more than a few occasions in the beginning how greatful she was that we had done this for her.

She absolutely refuses to help with my grandfather, who is in very poor help.

She has made demands of my parents to do work to the house for, none of which was necessary, but only asthetic.

She’s since gotten a boyfriend and moved him into the house. My parents reminded her that the contract was with her and her only and that he would have to pay rent. She got irate and refused, instead taking her copy of the papers to her lawyer who advised her that indeed my parents were right and he would have to pay rent or move out and if he didn’t my parents could legally evict him.

She has since begrudgingly agreed that he will pay the rent, and despite the fact that she’s just essentially a lifetime tennant and the house remains in my grandfather’s name, she has changed the locks without my family’s knowledge or approval.

What I want to know is:

First….if my mother has power of attorney, and didn’t sign off on this paperwork, does it make it null and void?

If it is valid and legal, does the woman changing the locks without notifying or the ok of the property owner now make that paperwork null and void?

Lastly, if no other loophole can be found…if when my grandfather passes and the property is then put in my father’s and uncle’s names, are they required to uphold that previous contract? It seems to me at the VERY least they should be able to draw up another version requiring her to pay rent/mortgage, and if she refused they then have recourse to ask her to leave.

Any thoughts?

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