Caring for Alzheimer's

Posts Tagged ‘mom’

My mom’s grandpa (her mom’s dad) had alzheimer’s. His daughter (my mom’s mom) died when she was young so they never found out if she had it. My mom is 44 and has a bad memory. She forgets what you are talking about in a conversation, she forgets things she said, promises she has made, entire incidences she will forget. How do people find out if they have it? Or do we sit and wait to see if things get really bad? My entire family including my mom are seriously concerned she might have it.

Thanks in advanced.

Oh boy… I just got off the phone with my brother who’s older than me. I really touched a bad nerve of his. Here’s the story. My mom suffered a mini-stroke during the summer and she’s still living at home. I’m the main caregiver here in the city because my siblings all live outside the city. My brother is the only one who spends the summer here at the cottage so he’s able to look after my mom a couple days a week, while for me it’s every day. Anyway, my sister-in-law talked to my mom about her "options" (living at home, assisted living, nursing home) while my mom was in the hospital. I wasn’t there to discuss this. Tonight, I told my brother how upset I was about this and he was just fuming. He said that they’ve been married 30+ years and that my sister-in-law had the right to discuss the options because she wasn’t making a decision. I told him that my sister-in-law isn’t here to do the caregiving but he then answered that he is so that counts. He said that he refuses to tell her what I said and that I could call her myself to discuss this. He then said that if I do that, she won’t want to talk to anyone in the family anymore. He said that he doesn’t want to limit what she can or can’t say and that he’s tired of filtering everything.

To keep the peace, I wrote him an email telling him that I’m sorry if I offended him (even though he blew up at me but we we’re both tired). I want to maintain our family relationships intact and family support is very important right now. Did I do the right thing?
I also added that I appreciate his help and my sister-in-law’s help (even though I find her nosey at times).

Am i basically screwed? My grandma had and now i can see it in my mom, what am i going to do when i get older? Im 16 do you think there will be a way to prevent it within the next 60 years?

He is in a facility that is costing us over 7K per month CASH. How do we qualify him for medicare-medi-cal. My mom is afraid that if we do this, she will have to take all HER assets out of her name to qualify HIM. Is that correct?

My mother has Parkinsons and early stage Alzheimers. I live with her and take care of her full time but do not receive a salary per se. In fact it would not be possible for me to hold down a job while still caring for my mom who needs help eating and showering, as well as just getting around her house, making phone calls, and all chores. I have had official power of attorney for some time so I pay her bills as well as my own expenses using her funds. She clearly wants this as is and has more than enough money for a comfortable requirement, even should she need skilled nursing round the clock, which may or may not be in her future. We are thinking of getting a live in nurse and I don’t know how much that runs, but I am guessing around 40k(?) so money will begin to be tight. There has never been any question that my mother intends to care for my financial needs as long as I am devoted to her care.

My question is that my son (her grandson whom she dearly would like to educate) will be entering private preschool which runs about 15k a year soon. I have no funds in my own name (exhausted all with unemployment and pregnancy) save a house I own but have not yet sold. I would like to apply for financial aid because my mother is not super wealthy. How much, for tax purposes and financial aid applications, can we legally say my mother "gifts" me? My boyfriend lives with us, and also has a full time, albeit low paying, job, but unfortunately has not contributed a cent to our household or me since nearly a year ago. Is there any way to indicate this too? I am not sure but I suppose we have shared legal custody, although he generally is uninterested in his son’s affairs. What do I write on applications and my taxes?? Basically I don’t know how to separate my finances from moms…I don’t legally declare myself a dependent although maybe I should?! I am not good about separating our finances, although with the internet of course there is a record for everything.

My mom has dementia and our doctor suggested this drug to calm her down at night. But it has a warning saying that it increases death.

I’ve been sick almost 3 weeks. Head’s plugged up and my nose bleeds every time I blow it. I don’t normally have problems like this. My niece bought a repo house which had set empty 2 years and I’ve been over there painting some evenings. My first evening over there is about the time it started. Every time I paint, the next day I wake up feeling horrible and it lasts several days. When it does, I ache everywhere. One night I even had a fever. I’ll start feeling better after 4 or 5 days, and then get worse. I have a full time job, kids, and a mom with Alzheimers I help care for, and I’m dragging through every day. I keep praying for it to go away on its own because taking off work is almost impossible, and I don’t want to pay a doctor just to tell me to rest and drink fluids.

My niece’s dad changed the furnace filter in her repo house and I think it helped some when I’m over there painting, but the ducts are still full of dirt and debris. Could something be in them causing me to feel like crap or is it more likely something else?

First I’ll tell you that I’m a special education teacher. My first thought when I met my mother-in-law is that she has mild autism. But I recently saw something on the news and I would like her to get checked out for alzheimer’s. She seems to have all the traits of someone well into the condition.

She makes up these insane lies. For example she told my husband that I told her to come over to our house at 5 to help me clean, she got here and I didn’t answer the door, and she called 3 times on my home and cell phone. In reality she wanted to come see the kids at noon (no cleaning mentioned) and she never called the home phone or my cell once. She’s lived in the same city (a suburb) her whole life and she gets lost going to the grocery store. She has a GPS and was shown how to use it a couple dozen times (it was set up so she can just turn it on and push 1 button to find her way home) and she still can’t do it on her own— keep in mind she’s only 60… not 90.

I’ve asked my husband if he can say something to his dad about her getting help and he took it as an attack. My husband pretty much takes everything that isn’t praise as if it’s an attack though.

Should I call my father-in-law, tell him that I’m concerned, and see if he can take her to the doctor? Or is that crossing a line? I told my husband that if that were my mom that I would be sure that she get the help and medication she needed. I would do whatever it takes to make sure her health is the best possible. My father-in-law and I have a good relationship, but much like my husband he too can take things the wrong way and get super defensive over everything.

I’m the youngest of the family. My siblings all live across the country, in different cities. I care for both my parents. My dad has Alzheimers and I go tuck him in bed every single night at the nursing home. My mom had a mini-stroke in July and I visit her everyday, go eat dinner at her place, do the laundry, etc. Apart from that, I have a daughter and my own business to take care of. Yes, my plate is more than full. My siblings are pretty much not involved, except for yearly visits. When I talk to them about being far away, they say that I’m meant to be where I am and that’s just the way it is. Very nice indeed. Now, would it be too much to ask of them to come down to visit and stay with my mom for 2 weeks during the year? Let’s say, 2 weeks per sibling (I have 3 of them). That way, I could do what I long to do and just have a break. They could spend their 2 weeks here doing what I do every day. Problem is, the return trip costs over ,000.00 and some of them can’t afford it. My mom could probably pay but I don’t think it’s up to her to do that. I’m here all the time and don’t get paid. Is this too much to ask of them? I wish they’d offer that on their own and that I didn’t have to request this. What do you think?

OK, so my mother is trying her best to take care

of my great aunt, who has alzheimers(I suppose)

The mannerisms are driving everyone in the house

insanely crazy. She sits in her chair and screams for

my mom to bring her the phone at least 40-50 times a

day, no exaggeration. After she calls (or attempts to call) every

single person she knows, friends, neighbors, whoever to come get

her, she gets mad and says she is going to leave walking. We live

way out in the country. She can’t go anywhere and she falls all the

time and gets hurt, she can barely walk as it is. If anyone with some

experience knows some tricks or something to say to make this stop

that would be very very helpful.

She argues about everything when she tries to call people and they

don’t answer, it is just driving us nuts. She is still treated with hospitality

and still gets mad when she can’t just leave. She constantly thinks someone

is coming to get her and no one is.

Thanks.