Caring for Alzheimer's

Posts Tagged ‘nursing home’

My father who is 81 years old is in the process of changing his will for the 3rd time in 5 years. He suffers from OCD and Narcissistic personality disorder and is threatening to cut all 4 of his children out of his will, because we wanted to enroll my 76 year old mother in a day program for people with Alzheimer’s (she was diagnosed 5 years ago).

Due to his personality disorders he views this attempt to get my mother professional care as an attempt to separate her from him (i.e. we are trying to put her in a nursing home). We are only trying to get her some help and some peace as he is very controlling and limits her interactions with her children and others. He verbally abuses her (although she has no control over her condition) and she has called my siblings and myself to "rescue her" from him.

We have even contacted a priest to talk to my father about doing right by my mother. He has had arguments with 3 of his four children in the last week (the 4th hasn’t spoken to him in over a year). I know he is scared about the progression of my mother’s condition and he is lashing out at his children because of fear of the unknown.

So now that you have the back story, if I contact his lawyer (I am at present an executor) and inform him that my father is not of sound mind and my mother has Alzheimer’s and their mental capacities are somewhat comprised, can he legally make any changes to their will once he has this information?

I know it’s long-but thank you for taking the time ….
Due to his personaility disorders, he does not see himself as having a problem, he will not go voluntarily to be evaluated.

Did your Mother then receive Hospice care, or go to a Nursing home to live in a 24 hour care environment? I am thinking about what the next step is for my Mother. Her dementia has progressed a lot in the last two months.

Oh boy… I just got off the phone with my brother who’s older than me. I really touched a bad nerve of his. Here’s the story. My mom suffered a mini-stroke during the summer and she’s still living at home. I’m the main caregiver here in the city because my siblings all live outside the city. My brother is the only one who spends the summer here at the cottage so he’s able to look after my mom a couple days a week, while for me it’s every day. Anyway, my sister-in-law talked to my mom about her "options" (living at home, assisted living, nursing home) while my mom was in the hospital. I wasn’t there to discuss this. Tonight, I told my brother how upset I was about this and he was just fuming. He said that they’ve been married 30+ years and that my sister-in-law had the right to discuss the options because she wasn’t making a decision. I told him that my sister-in-law isn’t here to do the caregiving but he then answered that he is so that counts. He said that he refuses to tell her what I said and that I could call her myself to discuss this. He then said that if I do that, she won’t want to talk to anyone in the family anymore. He said that he doesn’t want to limit what she can or can’t say and that he’s tired of filtering everything.

To keep the peace, I wrote him an email telling him that I’m sorry if I offended him (even though he blew up at me but we we’re both tired). I want to maintain our family relationships intact and family support is very important right now. Did I do the right thing?
I also added that I appreciate his help and my sister-in-law’s help (even though I find her nosey at times).

I’m the youngest of the family. My siblings all live across the country, in different cities. I care for both my parents. My dad has Alzheimers and I go tuck him in bed every single night at the nursing home. My mom had a mini-stroke in July and I visit her everyday, go eat dinner at her place, do the laundry, etc. Apart from that, I have a daughter and my own business to take care of. Yes, my plate is more than full. My siblings are pretty much not involved, except for yearly visits. When I talk to them about being far away, they say that I’m meant to be where I am and that’s just the way it is. Very nice indeed. Now, would it be too much to ask of them to come down to visit and stay with my mom for 2 weeks during the year? Let’s say, 2 weeks per sibling (I have 3 of them). That way, I could do what I long to do and just have a break. They could spend their 2 weeks here doing what I do every day. Problem is, the return trip costs over ,000.00 and some of them can’t afford it. My mom could probably pay but I don’t think it’s up to her to do that. I’m here all the time and don’t get paid. Is this too much to ask of them? I wish they’d offer that on their own and that I didn’t have to request this. What do you think?

It’s a British one off pogramme, about an elderly woman and her son. It’s starts after the woman has died, and the son is looking around his Mothers house reminiscing and then the film goes back to the memories and the events leading up to his Mother’s dementia, her subsequently going into a nursing home and her death. It was heartbreaking and I would really like to see it again.

She has not been declared mentally incompetent, she can write and sign her name, but insists on giving her children the money in her bank accounts because she doesn’t want the government to get it because of what happened on Wall Street and she is paranoid. She also lived through the Great Depression. Can we accept this money? And what happens if she has to go into assisted living or nursing home? She gets a good amount per month from SS.
My brother has a durable power of attorney for her financial affairs but she INSISTS on giving all of us money as GIFTS to help us out on our mortgages and such. We just don’t know whether to accept it or not. I did research and it says she can give up to 000 per year. I don’t think she’ll have to apply for Medicaid because of her income and other savings and she’ll also have VA benefits if she has to go into assisted living. We are so confused.
I meant to say 000 per child or grandchild per year is what I’ve been told.

I’m the youngest of the family. My siblings all live across the country, in different cities. I care for both my parents. My dad has Alzheimers and I go tuck him in bed every single night at the nursing home. My mom had a mini-stroke in July and I visit her everyday, go eat dinner at her place, do the laundry, etc. Apart from that, I have a daughter and my own business to take care of. Yes, my plate is more than full. My siblings are pretty much not involved, except for yearly visits. When I talk to them about being far away, they say that I’m meant to be where I am and that’s just the way it is. Very nice indeed. Now, would it be too much to ask of them to come down to visit and stay with my mom for 2 weeks during the year? Let’s say, 2 weeks per sibling (I have 3 of them). That way, I could do what I long to do and just have a break. They could spend their 2 weeks here doing what I do every day. Problem is, the return trip costs over ,000.00 and some of them can’t afford it. My mom could probably pay but I don’t think it’s up to her to do that. I’m here all the time and don’t get paid. Is this too much to ask of them? I wish they’d offer that on their own and that I didn’t have to request this. What do you think?

I’m the youngest of the family. My siblings all live across the country, in different cities. I care for both my parents. My dad has Alzheimers and I go tuck him in bed every single night at the nursing home. My mom had a mini-stroke in July and I visit her everyday, go eat dinner at her place, do the laundry, etc. Apart from that, I have a daughter and my own business to take care of. Yes, my plate is more than full. My siblings are pretty much not involved, except for yearly visits. When I talk to them about being far away, they say that I’m meant to be where I am and that’s just the way it is. Very nice indeed. Now, would it be too much to ask of them to come down to visit and stay with my mom for 2 weeks during the year? Let’s say, 2 weeks per sibling (I have 3 of them). That way, I could do what I long to do and just have a break. They could spend their 2 weeks here doing what I do every day. Problem is, the return trip costs over ,000.00 and some of them can’t afford it. My mom could probably pay but I don’t think it’s up to her to do that. I’m here all the time and don’t get paid. Is this too much to ask of them? I wish they’d offer that on their own and that I didn’t have to request this. What do you think?

He’s in a nursing home. Every day he asks us when we’re taking him to the beach. We obviously can’t take him, so how do we get him to stop asking us about this?

My Grandpa was just put in a nursing home. He suffers from dementia, and I was trying to think of activites (preferably solo) for him. Some hand-held game ideas or something?
Oh, and just and FYI, he’s mainly in the nursing home temporarily for his severe broncitis, not his dementia. And we visit, but we can’t be there 24/7. So when we aren’t there, i wanted some ideas for him to entertain him.